


Headcanon: Bond has never seen the LOTR movies

by Anyawen



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: 007 Fest 2020, Don't copy to another site, Established Relationship, LOTR, M/M, Silmarillion references, books vs movies, movie marathons, team00, the boys are tolkien fans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:14:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25365922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anyawen/pseuds/Anyawen
Summary: Bond has never seen the LOTR movies. Q remedies this startling deficiency.
Relationships: James Bond/Q
Comments: 8
Kudos: 36





	Headcanon: Bond has never seen the LOTR movies

Bond has never seen the LOTR movies. Q is astounded. Such a thing should not be possible, given in-flight entertainment options and the amount of traveling Bond does. It’s true, though. Bond has never seen them.

Q decides this must be remedied. Right now, today, while they both have time. Bond humors him.

Bond makes breakfast while Q brings blankets out to the couch and builds a comfy nest. The movies are amazing, but long. He wants them to be comfortable.

They marathon all three movies - extended versions - back-to-back. They only get up between films for bathroom breaks, to make more tea, and to accept delivery of the lunch Q called out for.

When the films are over Bond agrees that they were stunning, and he’s glad to have watched them with Q.

Over a dinner of Chinese take away Bond comments that Q has an elfin quality to him, and Q replies that Bond, of course, is the manliest of Men, and would probably appear to most to be a Ranger, solitary and standoffish, but in reality, he’d be the most loyal of Gondor’s knights. Though probably still rather standoffish.

The conversation develops into Bond and Q comparing themselves and each other to characters in the films. Even with all the careful research and preparation they each do for missions, they agree that neither of them has the patience of an Ent. Both of them, though, have the cunning and the ability for violence of an orc.

Q suggests that perhaps they’re more like Arwen and Aragorn - a great romance.

Bond says they’re like Frodo and Samwise - him carrying the burdens of his missions like a ring around his neck, but Q always ready to help, always trying to shift the weight to his own shoulders, always trying to keep him safe.

Q agrees that this does seem more like them. Bond says that it’s more romantic than the canon love story anyway, which earns him a kiss.

Bond notes that, with Q’s ability to monitor cameras and satellite images, he’s actually a bit like Sauron, with the Eye and the _palantíri_. Q objects to being compared to the villain of the story. Bond counters that he only compared him to Sauron, not to Melkor.

Q drops his chopsticks in shock. Bond looks at him innocently. He’d never seen the films, it’s true. But he’s read the books. All of them. Yes, even the Silmarillion. That one more than all the others, actually. Probably half a dozen times, if not more.

Q throws a fortune cookie at him, laughing.

Actually, Bond says, Q with his engineering and creativity might be compared to Fëanor and his master smithing skills. Q demurs, saying that although he did always ask his agents to bring their kit back, he’d never prioritize guns or tech over their lives, as Fëanor did with the Silmarils. Bond pushes back slightly, suggesting that in his case, as useful and appreciated as Q’s gadgets are, they’re merely baubles, and the agents are the things Q prizes most highly. They’re his Silmarils, and he would do everything in his power, including burning whole countries, to get them back. Q reluctantly agrees that perhaps he has more in common with Fëanor than ingenuity and a talent for linguistics.

Still, though, he rather prefers the idea of them as Frodo and Sam, working together to bring down threats to their world, and retiring together to the Undying Lands. Or Scotland. He isn’t picky.

… they both agree that although there is a striking physical resemblance between Boromir and Alec, in character he is clearly most like Pippin.


End file.
